Why Love Gets Better As We Age

The greyer the world gets, the more loving it becomes.


Can anyone answer this? Why?

Because Older People are better prepared at adjustment and acceptance than younger ones.

As I grow older, it is mature love stories that interest me much more than the giddy younger tales of romance. I seek movies, books, and songs that speak of older love and relationships. Love in the mature years is reassuring and so much steadier and reliable. There is a contentment to it that is missing in younger years.

The intensity of emotions felt in older years root you firmly, rather than sending you on flights of giddy emotions; love now nurtures rather than challenge you. As people mature, they look for honesty, companionship, good interactions and a meeting of the minds and attitudes rather than for romance and attraction.

And frankly, I don’t even understand what youngsters today look for in a love interest. They are too exacting with their demands, seeking custom-fit companions, who obviously are impossible to find. As you grow older, you realize that what you need is not someone who will merge his/her life into yours, but someone with whom you can exist and grow side-by-side comfortably.

Research reveals that marital happiness is at its peak in initial and later years, though it takes a dip in the middle years, which is usually the period of maximum stress for all; most with career struggle, bringing up children, shoring up finances and looking after aging parents. As these responsibilities get dealt with, we are freer to focus on ourselves and on each other.

Older people are better prepared at adjustment and acceptance. By now, they have assimilated the lessons that life and experience alone can teach. Circumstances and handling various relationships formed over a lifetime have taught them the importance of patience and forgiveness. Parenthood shows them how great, and even endless, our capacity for love can be. Time proves that even the most intense disappointments and the deepest grief fade away to embrace new hope and expectation; life moves on and so do we.

We learn to make the most of what we have rather than endlessly running after fantasies and dreams. The importance of family and friends is driven home to us when we realize how critical a steady support system is to living. Good companionship can only be won over with patience and the right attitude, neither bought nor taken for granted. Respect and communication are integral to cultivating good relationships.

As people grow mature, their focus becomes more inward and it is no longer important to prove anything to anyone but themselves. They come to terms with their social and financial status and no longer hanker after that which is beyond reach. The stress of all that hankering and reaching out settles to a contented acceptance of what is. Having let go of all the baggage, the only thing of importance that is left is living well and happily.

Is it surprising then that older people are known to have lesser quarrels, as they are better able to control their emotions, and are better at solutions to conflicts? They are better at acceptance and lesser prone to raging emotions. As you grow old together, you also have a lot of shared experiences and beliefs between you. This helps further cement your understanding and give a meaningful foundation to your relationship.

Of course, we cannot deny that one major reason for mellowing as you grow older is the sight of your own time horizon. Appreciating the limitation of time one has, helps people focus on the better aspects of life- things that give us happiness and the feel of a life well-lived.

And yes, love and happiness are definitely top of the charts there. It’s not what they have in life but who they have in life that matters!




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